I Feel Strange...

[John]

I've come to love the pulled back/circumcised look. I love the feel of it, I love my color change, and I love the extra-physical nudity of it. (The medical claims of circumcision, however, are grasping at straws at best for me.) The glans, of course, is meant by nature to be a semi-internal organ, like the tongue or the eyeball. By baring my head I feel I'm sticking out my tongue in a sense. But given the intimacy of the penis, I feel like I'm sticking out the tongue of my soul by being pulled back. I've never felt nuder, physically and emotionally, than when my cockhead is exposed. (This shouldn't sound too odd; the words of the tongue, and the look of the eyes, are held to be windows into the soul. The penis head too. These liminal body-parts have much to say.)

However, I despise infant and childhood circumcision. In particular I hate the unthinking WASP social pressure to do something to others just because, "That's what everybody does." Any parent who inflicts that procedure on their child I mentally and forever file away in the "dummy" category.

I have always been proud to be intact. As much as I love being bared I love having all of me here. Up until my retraction I have always prided myself on being physically whole. At nudist camps, hikes, body paints, and parties, I have proudly worn my foreskin as a sign saying, "You don't have to cut off you child's body parts."

And here's my difficulty: eight months into my retraction I no longer like wearing my foreskin down. At all. Ever. Again. I hope it atrophys into nothing. I hope it wears away to the point that I try to cover my head and it will never stay back again. How do I reconcile myself to my foreskinless future, joining my bare headed/circumcised brothers, while at the same time hating the method many of them became exposed (i.e., infant circumcision) and robbing myself of my little protest against it (i.e., having foreskin to wear down naturally)?

Attached are some photos from my natural days, and of me (pulled back) now:

[jdm]

I hear what you're saying man, and I share some of your conflict. I enjoy retracting, sometimes for long periods of time (months). But some part of me always makes me stop at some point. And I think part of it is some weird aversion I have towards permanent body modification. I try to tell myself that since it's not surgical, it's kind of a natural improvement. Like bodybuilding, or something. But subconsciously I still have a hangup about it.  But that is just my personal feeling. I don't have any problem with others doing it, if that's what makes them happy. So I think it's all about choice. And the problem with RIC is that the choice is taken away. You have a choice. So don't beat yourself up for making it. If it makes you happy, be happy. I don't know it that can actually help you get over your conflict, but it's the best perspective I can offer.

[dude101]

Interesting discussion. I was going to comment earlier. John your comment about feeling like always having your tongue out struck me funny. I've always described the feeling as feeling like I'm always "present". I'm quite serious about this feeling. My story is a little different, maybe? I suffered with phimosis as a teenager several decades ago. It was tough. I was also a meek, shy, less aggressive young man. The contrast between my days in high school and my days in college and beyond are pretty crazy. I'm certain living as an adult that feeling you describe made me more present in adult situations. I truly believe that us adults are not doing young men any justice by not talking about this. Just take a cruise through Reddit you can easily find terrible stories and pleas for help from guys looking for help. The medical establishment always jumps for the knife. Instead of offering alternatives.

I think for the first few years I felt this need in the pit of my stomach to roll forward during high stress events. Very rare to get that feeling nowadays. There is some kind of natural instinct in all of us to roll forward sometimes. It is perfectly fine to do so.

There are alot of men out there suffering because they don't even realize that pulling their skin back would solve many of their problems. Balanitis, phimosis, pre-mature ejaculation. The list of issues are pretty compelling. With the rise of the modern diseases like diabetes. Just look at the state of India and the rapid rise of circumcisions' there. On the flip side in North America the feminist movement has ensured that the idea of circumcision is bad and some believe should be classed as body mutilation. Which it should not. The reality is older adult men face issues and need education how to manage things properly. I'll go on record and state that any man beyond 40 that is uncut should consider the benefits of pulling back. And 100% any man suffering with diabetes should!

For younger men other benefits are obvious. The keratinization process will harden the glans and provide some good desensitization which means you will last longer in bed. This is actually good for your partner. Your partner will also appreciate the reduction in smell.

On the flip side there is nothing stopping you from enjoying being uncut as well. A fully functional foreskin with good mobility is something we can enjoy when/if we choose to.

Anyways just some thoughts.

GL.

[PermanetlyBareKnob]

I think I have very similar feeling as you about being permanently retracted or circumcised.  I think it just looks and feels better. I also am bothered by routine infant circumcision for similar reasons, as it violates the bodily autonomy of an infant in a pretty personal way.

However for me at least, I never saw my status of having an intact penis or covered glans as any kind of protest or statement against infant circumcision.  I didn't have any say in whether or not I was circumcised as an infant, and when people see my penis, I don't think they read anything into whether my glans is covered or bare.

So for me at least, I feel quite comfortable keeping my glans bare, because that is how I choose for my penis to look, while still feeling fully comfortable being opposed to taking the choice away from others.  I'm not sure if that helps you reconcile things for yourself or not, but maybe framing it as a matter of personal choice will help you too.