Wife wants son to train retraction

[bareuncut]

I am permanently retracted. I am happy with my status, but given the widespread availability of circumcision, I think circumcision is a pain free and convenient option to bare glans with more predictable/desired outcome within a short time. However my wife admires my status. She thinks holding the sensitive glans completely bare, voluntarily, when the option to reverse it is intact is a strength of mind and an admirable commitment. She come to believe that permanent retraction is a courageous practice for men. Our son is approaching puberty and I was talking with my wife about scheduling his circumcision. After a little chit-chat she suddenly suggested why not our son try retraction before considering a circumcision. I told her how difficult, time consuming, and painful it might be to achieve a permanently retracted status. I am also not confident that everyone can achieve a permanently retracted status. I used to suffer from a very mild phimosis which helped holding my foreskin behind corona during my training. But my wife is insisting that our son should give it a try at the least. If he feels uncomfortable then circumcision is a readily available option. I am still not sure if it is a right decision. Although I have heard from my nurse long time ago that Japanese boys were traditionally taught to retract at this age. My wife is insisting (she thinks my status should encourage him to try), but I am worried about pain and potential infections etc. Is there a Japanese clinic where we can consult?

[Nivek]

Hi! In your previous post, you described the process of retraction as long and painful and so you're having second thoughts about your son to undergo the process. For many of us though, the process wasn't painful at all. I've also never been infected before.  It just took some time and repetition... I guess teaching him to simply pull back without tools would be most beneficial as "spoon" or other methods would not seem natural to teach a young boy. Just my opinion!!

[andy]

as your son is just approaching puberty it should work to keep the foreskin retracted. do not force him to do it, but explain the advantages to him and start gradually. leave the foreskin behind after urinating or after the bath or shower. thus get him used to the new feeling.
preteen boys have - due to the growth of the penis - a much better chance that the foreskin remains permanently back. see japan.
circumcision creates a fait accompli. rectraction gives your son the option to go through life with or without a covered glans (or alternately).

[John]

One may have the legal/civil/make believe rights to adjust their child's body, but one certainly does not have the moral rights to do so. If your son wants to remove part of his body let him make that appointment, not you. Involuntary circumcision screws with dudes' minds. In the meantime, invite your son to permanently show his head like you. By anecdote it seems that the foreskins of boys who retract in late childhood/early puberty cease growing while the rest of their penis does, thus totally and forever (and voluntarily and naturally) exposing their glans. 

[paul214]

I mean, it can't hurt for him to pull back!

My views have changed a bit though more recently - I tried pulling back permanently many times over the years, but never managed to do it full time, and eventually decided to get circumcised myself, which I've had done recently. I think pulling back did give me the confidence to eventually do it!

Even just a few months ago, I was still thinking along the lines that if I have sons I would not circumcise them and let them choose later in life, but now having experienced it, now I might reconsider. It seems to me now that if you're going to ever do it, the sooner the better. This is partially because it's not a great experience as an adult but younger boys apparantly recover much quicker! With my experience too, there doesn't seem to be many downsides apart from the inconvience and recovery period, so maybe it is better to get that out of the way earlier (or as a baby before they will remember it!)

[Kylar]

Yikes.

You'd take away their choice and their right to a whole body because of your preference/fetish for your own body?

[Kylar]

P. S. also yikes at barecuncut.  You and your wife have no business to "schedule a circumcision" for your son just because he's approaching puberty. None.

Also how on Earth is retraction painful and arduous, and circumcision, an actual surgery which results in a wound that needs several weeks to heal, "pain free and convenient"?  Do you even hear what you're saying?

[ThePiemel]

I have some serious doubts about the sincerity of this post. (The eye of a veteran webmaster.)

Good parents never mess with what a boy has down there. That is up to him to discover. And maybe have questions about.

[lvprcm]

P. S. also yikes at barecuncut.  You and your wife have no business to "schedule a circumcision" for your son just because he's approaching puberty. None.

Also how on Earth is retraction painful and arduous, and circumcision, an actual surgery which results in a wound that needs several weeks to heal, "pain free and convenient"?  Do you even hear what you're saying?

Totally agree. When I first read it, it sounded more like some guy with a circumcision fetish projecting out some pseudo problem to justify his means. I doubt he's actually even got a foreskin from what he was describing, just weird.

[scotsguy27]

As with previous posts and also not trying to turn this into a circumcision debate...

I would agree with the majority of the users here, it is entirely up to your son if he gets circumcised.

Is there a reason why you and your partner think your son needs one? If he has a retractable foreskin, hygiene is not a valid reason as I'm 31 years old and have never had infections or a build up of smegma. I was taught to clean my penis from an early age.

Depending on what age he is you could mention during the "sex talk" that some people leave their foreskins retracted. I'd definitely tell him to retract for cleaning and sexual encounters.

[thesevenpointfive]

I have some serious doubts about the sincerity of this post. (The eye of a veteran webmaster.)

Good parents never mess with what a boy has down there. That is up to him to discover. And maybe have questions about.

Totally agree. When I first read it, it sounded more like some guy with a circumcision fetish projecting out some pseudo problem to justify his means. I doubt he's actually even got a foreskin from what he was describing, just weird.

I have to agree, as he could have taught his some to skin back earlier

[guest4734]

Just let him do what he wants: forcing him to do anything at this point would be incredibly cruel. If he decided he wants to be circumcised, he can do that as an adult, and if you introduce him to the concept of retraction he can decide whether or not to do it for himself.

[andy]

it is not a mistake for parents to teach their sons to wash under their foreskin every day, to push their foreskin back to clean it, and to give the glans a little air now and then.

[caveman]

It should be your sons decision NOT yours, you are violating his rights. I if he wants it pulled back ok, if he doesn't that is ok too, it is his penis to do with whatever he wants. If he wants a circumcision he can do that too but you should not be making that decision. If I was you son and you scheduled a circumcision for me I would be very pissed off and probably disown you.